Baltimore Raids NCAA for New Coaching Staff

Jobes to take over coaching duties; new coordinators join team as well
By "Michael Hickenbottom"

Off-Season 2089 (Baltimore) - In a move that comes to little surprise, new Baltimore Ravens general manager Ryan Howard has gutted the team's coaching staff and filled the holes with some of youngest and brightest coaches in college football.

According to an anonymous team insider, the mantle of head coach will be delegated to 34-year old Jeff Jobes, whose defensive brilliance and hard-nosed coaching style brought back-to-back National Championships to Louisiana State University in 2084 and 2085, and an additional title in 2087. Much praise has been bestowed upon Jobes, who became one of the youngest coaches ever to win an NCAA championship, let alone three within the span of a decade.

On the offensive side of the ball, Donny Crock of Michigan State will be taking over. In a recent interview with Sports Illustrated, Howard went into detail on how he wanted to establish a powerful running attack. In his twelve seasons with Michigan State, the 42-year old Crock coached his team into the top three in Big Ten rushing ten times.

Finally, contrary to early reports that had Jobes at the helm of the defensive play calling, it appears that Ahdel Ali will instead be taking over as defensive coordinator. Ali, a former Northwestern cornerback and free safety who until recently was the head coach of Illinois, is expected to have his position announced alongside Jobes and Crock at a press conference scheduled for 9 a.m. EST, Monday morning.

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