PageOne Launches New Feature

General Managers Will Now Be Able To Publish Their Own Articles
By "Skip Kitwaller"

Pre-Season 2079 (Philadelphia) - In an attempt to capture the nation's attention on the day of a competing league's world championship, the USA Football League rolled out their new 'PageOne Article Creation' feature.

The new feature allows General Managers to have greater control over the public relations aspect to their respective franchises. Teams will now be able to govern not only their local press outlets, but have access to major news outlets, such as USA Today and Sports Illustrated.

'While this league was one of the first to have a feature like this,' proclaimed USAFL Founder and Commissioner Andrew Lewis, 'it has been too many years since we've have been able to enjoy the technological wonders of this new feature.'

'I am supremely confident that the news coverage this new feature will foster will usher in a new era for our players and fans,' continued Lewis. 'Our GMs have been begging for us to get this feature back online for ages. I am pleased to announce that this day has finally arrived.'

Lewis quietly credited Garritt Grandberg for his well-known zeal behind the scenes in the creation of the programming for this new feature.

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