Miles Calls It Quits

414yds Shy Of 30,000 Career Passing Yards
By "Irv Moniker"

Pre-Season 2155 (Philadelphia) - With Camp 2155 Eagles winding down and the Birds' final roster molding into place, veteran QB Joel Miles could see the writing on the wall and he decided to take matters into his own hands and announce his retirement from the USA Football League.

'I wanna first thank the fine folks here in Philly for giving me the opportunity to play a couple more seasons after the Giants released me,' said a somber Miles in front of a small gathering of local press outside the Eagles annual 'Fly For Familial Flatulence' kick-off brunch. 'Every kid grows up wanting to play pro ball and by golly, this kid sure had his shot - and I got to play with some wonderful people and some amazing teams.'

The Eagles are reportedly handing the starting quarterback duties over to third year QB Joe Pridemore - who was rumored to be the team's starting QB as a rookie, until the franchise claimed Miles off of waivers just hours before training camp opened.

Per terms of Miles' contract, he will officially be placed on the team's InActive - non-playing - List and be the team's assistant quarterbacks coach for the duration of the 2155 season. Miles has long let it be known that he was interested in coaching once his career ended. The Eagles are willing to give him a shot and let him get some valuable experience this season.

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