Bills sign OL Ingram to an FP5 contract
By "Vic Carucci XX"

Pre-Season 2244 (Orchard Park, NY) - The Buffalo Bills have signed OL Bob Ingram to an FP5 contract, ensuring he protects whatever crappy QBs will be on the roster for the rest of his career.

'After the brain fart of cutting both starting caliber QBs this off-season, GM Ricotta had to do something to show me he's still a capable GM and that he values good players.' said Ingram. 'Paying me $12mil per season is a good move. I got paid!!!!'

During the interview, a consistent periodic thud could be heard off in the distance. Similar to someone smashing their head against a wall. No confirmation yet on if this was GM Ricotta.