Local Fans Wary of Change

New GM Overhauls Roster
By "Mal Tlicker"

Off-Season 2256 (Green Bay, WI) - New Packers GM Mark Thul is definitely taking the team in a new direction, and it seems many fans of the team aren't too happy about it.

'This was a playoff team last year!' shouted Carl Gerbschmidt. 'What kind of idiot trades away half of that roster? Broughton, Collins, Mills?!? All gone! Packer fans are loyal, but we know smarts, and he isn't.'

While it wasn't half, the 14 players traded away does represent over a quarter of the team's roster. In addition, the team has waived an additional five players.

'This is just insanity,' continued Gerbschmidt. 'We drafted Brian Roberson third overall just three years ago! All he does is kick-butt as a starter, and this bozo lets him go for nothin'. And then he brings in that 'Maneater' guy! A loser former-Viking! What is he thinking?'

The 'Maneater' reference is apparently to Green Bay's sole free agent acquisition, RB Darryl Hall. (Note: I asked Darryl Hall what he thought about Hall & Oates' music; he wasn't familiar with their work.)

GM Mark Thul was asked about the move to switch up the running game. 'While it's true that Darryl doesn't have the statistical bonafides other backs do, we believe it's merely because he hasn't had the opportunity. Hall has been stuck behind Nickles, and that's hardly his fault. Now he, and his four championship rings, gets the chance to show-off in a feature role.'

'Further,' Thul added, 'the draft has yielded some very nice pieces for us to build upon. This club, as constructed, wasn't going to get by Minnesota anytime soon, but by acquiring and developing such talent as WR Bill Lane, LB Madison Mathis, and the nine other rookies, we're set to reach them sooner!'

When shown Thul's explanation, Gerbschmidt wasn't having any of it. He emailed back, 'I've spoken with many of the other owners, and were [sic] not happy. There have been some teribul [sic] decisions made. Terribul, terribul, terribul!'

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