Carolina LB declared final franchise player
By "Aki Kurikawa"

Off-Season 2331 (Charlotte) - The Carolina Panthers today declared LB Steve Faris their final franchise player, guaranteeing him $10 million per season for the rest of his career.

'This was what we planned all along,' GM 'Trader' Lee Remley said in a statement. 'Ever since we made the big trade with Minnesota, we planned to make these guys the cornerstone of the franchise.

Fans in Charlotte can rest easy knowing their big acquisitions will not be leaving via free agency so soon after being in Carolina blue.

But can they finally tell the Ravens 'Nevermore!'? We'll see.