Cincinnati defeats Minnesota 1714 for firs twin in two seasons
By "Porsche Lynn Commode"

Off-Season 2346 (Cincinnati) - The Cincinnati Bengals celebrated their first victory in two seasons during week 11 as they took down the Minnesota Vikings 17-14.

Irving Haddix drilled a 47 yard field goal with 1:13 left in the game to secure the victory. WR Al Culpepper was the star of the game with 2 TDs.

The Bengals victory did not ruin their chances in securing the first pick in the draft once again, however.

A fan wearing a paper bag on his head complained about the Bengals having only two wins in the last three seasons.

'We have had rebuilds before, but this is ridiculous,' the bagman said. 'What are we now, the Clippers?'

Cincinnati hopes that they finally start turning around the anemic offense and Swiss cheese defense next season. The young players drafted the past few seasons are the core of that turnaround and are working hard to improve in minicamp.

The front office had warned fans to be patient, but that patience is wearing thin. Meanwhile, they can celebrate at least one win.

'I hope I can et rid of the bag next season,' the fan hiding his face said.