Bengals signal caller led team to four Sundby Cups
By "Porche Lynn Commode"

Off-Season 2359 (Cincinnati) - The mood was somber in Bengals land.

Not only did the team third ranked in power rankings miss the playoffs, but long-time signal caller Tom Warren announced his retirement after 15 great seasons.

Warren was not drafted. Pundits said he was just a running QB who would never make it in the pros. But like in college where he walked onto the Penn State campus, he went to training camp and became a star.

Warren ends his career 10th on the Bengals all time passing list with 33,582 yards to go with 215 TDs and only 95 INTs. Considering all the great franchise QBs this franchise has had over the years, that is quite a feat.

The now retired Warren was reflective, yet playful at his farewell press conference.

'I had a lot of great years here and have a ton of great memories to tell my kids about,' Warren said. 'But unlike another Tom we have all heard of who won a lot of titles, I am not coming out of retirement.'

The Bengals go forth into a new era next season with six-year man Carlton Coffman, who has never taken a snap in a regular season game due to Warren's toughness.

Meanwhile, Warren will join channel 85, otherwise known as 'Ocho Cinco', as the color man on Bengals games next season.

We wish Tom well on his new gig.