Bengals DE is the first franchise player for a while
By "Porsche Lynn Commode"

Off-Season 2366 (Cincinnati) - The Cincinnati Bengals today made DE Bart Adams their franchise player, guaranteeing him a $6 million salary for the rest of his career.

Taken third overall in the 2363 draft, Adams has quietly become the Bengals best all-around defensive lineman and is now being paid for his efforts.

'I'm tickled pink,' Adams said, citing the pink suit he wore to the presser. 'A contract for life and no worries about having to move the wife and kids is a big load off my mind.'

'We hope this will be the first of many franchise players,' Bengals head honcho 'Trader' Lee Remley said of his young star. 'Well, at least a couple more,' he joked, citing the league limit.

Bengals fans are lamenting the fact many of their team's stars were traded despite the team's lackluster showing lately, but suffice it to say there is a plan, and this is the first of many dominoes to fall.