Lane and Ford get lifetime contracts
By "Porsche Lynn Commode"

Off-Season 2373 (Cinvinnati) - They both were taken number one overall in different drafts.

They have more than proved their worth at the pro level ever since.

The Cincinnati Bengals today slapped the franchise tag on DT Eric Lane and DE Jeff Ford, guaranteeing them lifetime contracts for the rest of their career.

'These two guys proved our scouts correct after we got them on board,' Bengals GM 'Trader' Lee Remley said in a statement. 'We had to get them under contract for good as they are a big part of the resurgent Bengals.'

Taken first overall in the 2368 draft, Eric Lane has been a force inside with 14 sacks last season. The same can be said for Jeff Ford, who contributed the same 14 sacks from the outside. Meanwhile, they both learn from veteran Jeff Donnelley, who exploded with 42 sacks last year and was in the MVP conversation, rare for a defensive lineman.

Two duo were honored to be named franchise players.

'I am going to go buy a new Chevy truck,' Ford told the media when asked how he would spend his money.

Jeff said he would just stay in his lane.

'My needs are simple,' Lane said. 'Maybe my dog will get a new squeaky toy.'

Meanwhile, these two will be terrorizing USAFL offenses for many years to come.