Bengals DE becomes the first franchise player of the new look Bengals
By "Porsche Lynn Commode"

Off-Season 2381 (Cincinnati) - The Cincinnati Bengals today named young star DE Zach Hobbs the team's latest franchise player, guaranteeing him $10 million annually for the rest of his career.

Zach was obtained from Green Bay in 2377 and has blossomed into one of the team's young stars with 21 sacks last season.

Bengals head honcho 'Trader' Lee Remley, who has lived up to his nickname this year by retooling his roster, praised the young defensive lineman.

'Like his ancestor Roy Hobbs, the kid is a natural on the defensive line,' Remley said. 'We are pleased to have him be the face of the young team that we are forming.'

Remley announced other moves are forthcoming.

'We never rest around here,' the Bengals boss said.

As always in Bengals land, stay tuned.