Eagles Apologize To Fans

Roster Penalty Costs Team A Draft Pick & Two Players
By "Joey Scarfone"

Pre-Season 2079 (Philadelphia) - Much to the dismay of the Philadelphia Eagles fans, the team failed to submit their final roster cuts this past Friday evening. The league quickly stepped in and penalized the team by waiving recently drafted Aaron Stephens and David Sprague. The team was also penalized a 2nd round selection from next season's draft (2080).

Andrew Lewis, GM of the Philadelphia Eagles and Founder/Commissioner of the USAFL, was profoundly embarrassed by his team's mistake.

'I cannot tell you how disappointed I was when I first heard of this,' said Lewis at a mid-day press gathering for his local charity 'People Needing People Who Have More Money Than Them'.

'I've been an annual contributor to the PNPWHMMTT,' continued Lewis, 'and I wish all this attention today could be focused on their hard work and dedication to this not-too-well-known endeavor.'

Lewis would not comment if this situation will be culminating in firings in his front office.

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