Bears Decline on Schann AND Redden

Bears have over $60 million to spend next season
By "Otis Tackleberry"

Off-Season 2105 (Chicago, IL.) - In an alarming move, the Chicago Bears have declined to match the offer sheets of Bobby Schann and Clinton Redden. Z-Bo Zabroski was surprised by the generosity of Green Bay GM Todd Ricotta, stating, 'I have I have a lot to learn about good will.' Zabroski recomposed himself, later adding, 'Players are not just assets, they are family. They didn't just leave because of the money, although that is what we would like to tell ourselves. They left because Todd Ricotta treats his stars like kings.'

Zabroski mentioned that Todd Ricotta gave him advice going into the off-season, cautioning him that it would be difficult to keep his stars. Ricotta also offered Zabroski advice on how to mitigate the damage keeping these players would have on the club's financial health. 'Todd has been a gentleman and a scholar. He is a master negotiator who is unafraid of exposing his tricks as he performs them on you. The hard part is not understanding or seeing the trick, but telling him 'No'. I have no ill will towards him and his aggressiveness in USAFL Free Agency.'

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