Former Minnesota AGM Lands Job With New England
By "Stewart Worcestor"

Off-Season 2109 (Foxboro, MA) - Spurned on by dreams of an undefeated Patriots team with a quarterback who throws for more than sixty touchdowns, young executive Mark Thul agreed to terms today with the New England Patriots.

'I'm excited to be taking on this challenge. I honestly had a dream about a Patriots quarterback named Brady throwing an obscene amount of touchdown passes,' explained Thul. 'While we have a bit of work in front of us to get there, I take it as an excellent sign as to where I belong.'

Patriots owner and Gm, Jean Lefebvre, extended a warm welcome. 'The Patriots have a long history of making smart moves that take advantage of other people's mistakes. I don't know what (MN GM) Lou was thinking, but I'm thankful for his temporary insanity.'

It is expected that Thul will waste no time getting involved in the workings of the team, especially with his first Patriots draft staring him in the face in only two days.

'There's a lot of work to be done, but I'm with a great organization and am surrounded by great people. The high standards and proud tradition of the Patriots will live on.'