Panthers give LB $8 million per year lifetime contact
By "Bucky Katz"

Off-Season 2119 (Charlotte) - The Carolina Panthers opened their checkbook again today to secure their future as they named LB Chris Austin their franchise player, guaranteeing him $8 million per year for the rest of his career.

His name isn't Steve, but he's worth $8 million in their book.

'Chris has shown the level of talent we expected when we made him our first round draft pick a few seasons ago,' Panthers GM 'Trader' Lee Remley told the assembled media when they announced the signing. 'We're pleased he is going to be a Panther until the day he hangs them up.'

Austin is part of an impressive linebacking trio in Carolina. Reggie Jones and Seth Shelley are advancing in years and youngsters are waiting in the wings, so Austin is excited to stay put as a young leader on this defense.

'It has been said that our GM hasn't met a linebacker he doesn't like,' Austin joked. 'I don't know about that, but I'm sure glad they want to keep me around. I think we have a good team now and down the road.'