QB Declares Final Season
By "Justin Case"

Pre-Season 2127 (Baltimore, MD) - With the first games of the season looming, Baltimore's honored quarterback, Donnell Belfatto held a press conference to announce that this is his final season.

'I'm hanging them up after this season. I want to go out while I'm still on top, still as sharp as ever,' claimed Belfatto. 'I don't want a protracted retirement like that Favre guy had last century.'

Still, Belfatto is arguably the most impressive physical specimen currently playing the position, so why the rush to leave?

'I wouldn't call it a rush. I've been around quite a while. This is going to be a fun season. We're running a new offense; one that I've had brewing in my head for a while, and the coaches/owners gave me a chance to put it in place. It'll be interesting to see how it plays out.'

It is rumored that, under Belfatto's direction, the offense is going to be opened up in a way that it hasn't been for him before. They will be throwing a LOT.

'It's every QB's dream to run a pass-orientated offense. Don't get me wrong, I've loved all success we've had with different schemes over the years, but I'm going to make this season memorable.'

How on Earth did he get management to go along with this?

'I offered to come back as an assistant coach upon retirement,' chuckled Belfatto.

So...is there a final Sundby Cup in the picture?

'Oh, I don't know about that. We'll be competitive as always, but you know...Minnesota, New England...there are some awfully tough teams out there. We'll focus on one game at a time and hope for the best...and when it's all done, I'll have no regrets.'