Most Assets Gone? Speculation is Rampant
By "Gary Gray"

Off-Season 2134 (Washington, DC) - Before the ding of the opening trade-season bell, rumors have been running amock in Washington, DC. Entering the off season with several trade-able assets - recently signed OL Eldon Haynes, star WR Chris Marion, several first-round draft picks, and some extra youth at RB, WR, and DB - the Redskins were sure to make a splash. The most persistent speculation is that the Redskins have already made a block-busting deal with another non-playoff team.

According to most sources, Washington has unloaded almost all its valuable assets for one player. Reliable insiders have indicated that the paperwork is already sitting on the Commissioner's desk, waiting for crossed T's and dotted I's.

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BREAKING NEWS UPDATE: The Redskins have indeed massively overpaid for one of the league's rising star defensive linemen. At a news conference in DC, AGM Ben Breeden is joined by the newest Redskin, Brian Williams.

Reporter: 'Mr. Breeden, don't you think you gave up waaay too much for this guy?'

Breeden: 'You want to say that to Brian's face? Brian is a monster, you don't mess with a man-beast like him.'

Reporter: 'Three first round picks! One of the league's best offensive linemen! Your best wide receiver! Three promising young players! What were you thinking?!'

Breeden: 'I'm thinking that right at this moment, Brian Williams is now a Franchise Player. And you know what? Johnnie, please come join us.'

**Johnnie Barker walks on stage**

Breeden: 'Johnnie Barker, ladies and gentlemen: Mr. Barker and Mr. Williams are the Redskins' new franchise players. Congratulations, gentlemen.'