Panthers add some players on both side of the ball in quest for Sundby return
By "Bucky Katz"

Off-Season 2152 (Charlotte) - Amid all the brouhaha around their GM's appearance on the galactically syndicated Jim Rome show, the Carolina Panthers have been quietly adding some pieces this offseason in a bid to return to prominence in the NFC.

On the offensive line, they added veteran T Phil Pridemore from a Sundby familiar team in Baltimore and G Dennis Dallison from Houston, who won nothing more than maybe a steak dinner there.

'Our quarterback was on his backside too many times last year, so that was an area I wanted to address, espeically with all the steroid pass rushers in our division,' Panthers GM 'Trader' Lee Remley told the media at his weekly press conference. 'We think these two will really help us protect the passer and even open more holes for the league's 2nd leading rusher.'

On the defensive line, they added a couple more Baltimore veterans in DE Tony Hoskins and LB Mark Branley.

'Our defensive ends didn't get after the quarterback well enough last year,' Remley said. 'We wanted our guys outside to match up with our great guys inside so Tony will be a great addition there. Mark will battle for a spot with our other Mark (first round pick Mark Brad) with Shane Sawyer possibly moving outside with Brad Jones to take advantage of that motor of his.'

How does this affect the Panthers recent youth movement?

'We still are building for the future, but we saw an opportunity to get a few 'in the meantime' guys to help us compete at the highest level right now,' Remley expalined. 'So we took advantage of it. If nothing else, we should really put on a good show for our fans, and give the evil empire a run for their money.'

The evil empire?

'That's what he's been calling Da Bears, man,' DE Matt McDonald explained. 'He's been trying to get us revved up against those guys.'

With Chicago, Minnesota, and Green Bay in your division, you need to be revved up every season.