Team's GM not present as usual
By "Bucky Katz"

Off-Season 2154 (Charlotte) - There was a surprise today at the Carolina Panthers press conference. GM “Trader” Lee Remley was not present. Instead, the media was greeted by the team’s new spokesperson, who introduced herself as Ms. Kaori Sato.

“The board of directors of the Carolina Panthers football club has decided that after several inflammatory statements by our general manager, he will no longer be allowed to speak to the media,” Ms. Sato read in a statement. “Any announcements made by the team will now come from the team’s new spokesperson, namely me. This will allow Remley-san to spend more time on his general manager’s duties, which the board feels has been lacking as of late. Thank you.”

When the room erupted in questions after the brief statement, the imposing dark haired woman narrowed her black eyes and stated “no questions” before stalking out with her posse of large gentlemen.

Little is known of the enigmatic Ms. Sato, except that she had been noticed in the background during the team’s press conferences the past several weeks, with her hand usually resting on a large black purse. A cursory questioning of team employees always resulted in a shaking of heads and a refusal to speak about the presence of Ms. Sato.

Team sources are also mum concerning what this means about their general manager’s future. Bottom line, Panthers press conferences will now be a lot less interesting without their often frank general manager attending them.