Eagles Say Goodbye To Longtime Head Coach
By "Mike Manuello"

Off-Season 2155 (Philadelphia) - After nineteen seasons leading the Philadelphia Eagles, including a NFC Championship in 2152, Head Coach Monte Owen has announced his retirement from coaching.

'We've had a great run here in South Philly,' said a tearful Owen at the pre-dawn opening tee of the Annual 'Owen Owes It To The Kids' Charity Golf Tournament.

'This game has been great to me - I had the chance to play for three amazing franchises - the New York football Giants, the Detroit Lions, and of course, these Eagles. While I only played here a very short time, this place had a huge impact on my life - so much so that we jumped at the chance to return here and develop my coaching career.'

Owens spent several seasons as the quarterbacks coach under former Birds' coach Bill Mays. When Mays retired twenty seasons ago, Owens was offered the top job. He brought 'Heavy & 4-3' schemes back to prominence in south Philly.

Former Eagles' defensive lineman and current defensive coordinator, Tom Roberts, has accepted the vacant Head Coach position for Philadelphia.

'This team owes a lot to Monte,' explained Roberts outside his center city apartment when approached by the local press. 'And I'm honored to take up the baton and lead the Eagles into this next generation. We've already begun interviewing for the new staff and I think everyone knows that I'm a 3-4 kind of defensive guy, so we've already begun making the necessary adjustments to migrate our guys to that system.'

When asked about the rumors that the Eagles are abandoning their famous Heavy offensive system, Roberts was non-committal, saying that they were still in the process of meeting with staff prospects. Our sources say that the team has already begun training their quarterbacks on the intricacies of the Pro-Set system.