Saints sign Snow to 12-Year Deal

Fans stunned by display of front-office competence
By "Yves Wray"

Pre-Season 2185 (New Orleans) - In a city renowned for its decadence and mysticism, it must rankle team owners to know that faith in the Saints' front office could be considered lean at best; fans who once wondered aloud whether the city's favorite sons could bring home 17 wins and a championship have been treated to exactly such a win total- apportioned over the last four years.

But the suits upstairs haven't been the only boys criticized for the team's woeful string of early appearances on draft day. Everyone from the club's equipment managers to the players to the coaching staff have been examined by the baleful eye of the Saints' faithful, and all have been found wanting. None more so, perhaps, than the squad's most recent offensive line coach, Everett 'Magic Bus' Henshaw, far better known for his ownership stake in the 'Magic Bus Chickeria' franchise than for his acumen in managing the Saints' big men in the trenches. As more than one fan has noted, the restaurant chain's proud motto, 'Nearly 42% Genuine Vat-Grown Chicken Protein in Every Bite!' may well apply to Henshaw's erstwhile charges- 'Nearly 42% Effort on Every Play!'

On the other hand, team officials are nothing if not business-savvy. A recent slate of first round picks, including two men chosen first overall, and recent pursuit of qualified big men in free agency have mollified their zealous adherents to some degree. While the much ballyhooed long-term signing of offensive line juggernaut Ronnette 'Just Call Me Ron' Snow may have been a desperate attempt to quell vitriolic criticism, even the most jaded fortune tellers of NOLA's darkest enclaves would be hard pressed to see anything less than a brightening of the team's future.

Time will tell, as they say.