Cleveland?

Bengals GM reacts to his new divisional neighbor
By "Who Dey"

Off-Season 2216 (Cincinnati) - The reaction from the Cincinnati Bengals front office upon hearing the relocation plans for the USAFL teams was, well, typical 'Trader' Lee Remley, who never lets a good line get by.

'Cleveland?' Remley said when hearing where the New York football Giants intended to move. 'The Giants didn't like it in New Jersey and decided to move to Cleveland? And they thought that was better?'

'Didn't they have a river on fire a couple hundred years back? Weren't they declared a ghost town back in the 22nd century? Isn't that the place that no professional team there has won a championship in like 300 years?'

Remley shook his head. 'Wow. Talk about a leaderless ship.'

The new Cleveland Browns will join the tough AFC East this season where they will most likely find it tough going since they have been about 0-for-five seasons. Besides the Bengals, Buffalo and Pittsburgh will make their lives difficult and Miami is always is in the running as well, which leaves not too many opportunities for Cleveland to win divisional games.

The group of investors running the new Browns at the moment did not appear to be amused. 'We may have to visit Cincinnati before the season,' their spokesman, a man named Corleone, told this reporter.

'I wish them lots of luck,' Remley responded. 'They'll need it. But I'm sure they'll have the same kind of fans in Cleveland they had on the Jersey Shore.'

Back