New Bengals QB has a unique background
By "Porsche Lynn Commode"

Off-Season 2244 (Cincinnati) - He's Duncan McKenzie of the clan McKenzie.

Born 25 years ago in the highlands of Scotland, he never even seen a football until at 17 when a scout for Notre Dame saw him in the Highland games and wondered what if. The scout handed him a football and Duncan threw it 70 yards without even much of an effort. That's when the scout asked him if he would like a scholarship to attend college in America.

'I thought I would go get an education, meet some nice American lassies, and come back home after,' McKenzie said. But fate had more in store.

He was drafted by Buffalo fifth overall in the 2241 USAFL draft. He was called the new face of the franchise. He had a nice salary. Then fate dealt him a blow.

'I still don't know why the cheese mon cut me,' McKenzie says now. 'I was the starter one week and on da unemployment line da next. He said it was a mertake and if so, he needs to lay off da Scotch.'

Duncan wasn't on waivers long before the Cincinnati Bengals claimed him, looking for a quarterback of the future themselves.

'I was shocked he was out there,' Bengals GM 'Trader' Lee Remley said. 'So as soon as our turn came on waiver claims, we grabbed him.'

Now he's the Bengals starting quarterback, displacing longtime starter Kenny Smith. The Bengals tried to trade Kenny to no avail, so now he is mentoring the young QB, who he says has all the tools for greatness. He should know.

Duncan smiles now at the thought of playing Buffalo twice a year.

'I hear the cheese mon is hitting his head against the wall already,' McKenzie said with a laugh.