Rising star defensive end becomes first franchise player of new Bengals
By "Porsche Lynn Commode"

Off-Season 2253 (Cincinnati) - The Cincinnati Bengals today slapped a FP5 franchise player tag on DE Neil Marshall, guaranteeing him $12 million for the rest of his career.

During training camp, it was obvious that the jovial defensive end should be the face of the new Bengals. When he hits the field, however, he is all business and eats quarterbacks for lunch.

'This is a dream come true, man,' Marshall said at the press conference to announce his new contract. 'I came here as a college free agent and with a lot of hard work, look at me now. This goes to prove, kids, don't listen to the haters, just do what you do and you'll come out on top.'

Bengals GM 'Trader' Lee Remley had a lot of praise for his new franchise guy.

'This is the kind of player we are looking for as we rebuild,' Remley said. 'Guys like him, Johnny Walker, Maxwell Thomas, our solid group of linebackers, and just a bunch of good young players here will put us back on top.'

Bengals fans sure hope that will be sooner rather than later as they are not used to a losing team in Cincinnati.