Gerbschmidt Amping Up Resistence

Free Agency Mix-up Pushes Packer Fan Over the Top
By "Enra Ged"

Off-Season 2258 (Green Bay, WI) - A Green Bay Packer fan has put the nation on notice. 'Recent events are hurting the most loyal fans in the world, and we won't take it any longer!' lamented Carl Gerbschmidt. 'Mark Thul's leadership, if you can call it that, is no longer welcome!'

The outburst comes after a significant clerical error was discovered at the league office. The agent for DL Kevin Branch inadvertently faxed the unsigned offer from Green Bay to the league office rather than the signed offer from Oakland. By the time the error was noticed, the league free agency and trading period had ended.

'Well, we were certainly excited to learn Branch was coming to Green Bay. More excited than Branch was, I'm betting,' stated Packers GM Mark Thul. 'But after a busy trading period, we contacted Branch to set up an introductory press conference, and that's when the error was discovered. It was an honest error.'

Despite the player's agent and the league office both owning the mistake, many Packer fans weren't buying the excuse.

'That's fake news! This is all Thul's fault!' screamed Carl Gerbschmidt. 'Mark Thul is a travesty, a joke, and everyone knows he shouldn't be leading this legendary franchise.'

Apparently in reaction to the failed free agency signing, a new Packer anti-Thul club named 'Fans Are Removing Thul From A Real Team' sprang up. 'We had to create a new group,' admitted Gerbschmidt, 'after we received so much mocking from other fan-bases. Apparently the initials for our old group, 'Loyal Owners Litigate,' form some sort of intronet [sic] phone thingy.'

The new group has garnered a lot of media attention in Wisconsin, and appears to be growing quite large and exerting an uncomfortable amount of pressure to the fan-base. When shown the estimated membership, Thul was unapologetic.

'I offered to send them a memo written by our mail clerk, as everyone else was busy with more important matters,' said Thul, 'but they claimed that was insulting. It sort of was. Intentionally. Because they're idiots.'

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