Packer Fans Demand Legislation
By "Walt Tyler Ferguson"

Off-Season 2269 (Green Bay, WI) - Following the Packer's fifth consecutive Sundby victory, more than 1.4 million Wisconsinites, most of whom reeked of Milwaukee's Best and/or smoked badger jerky, marched on Madison to demand legislative action on the most pressing of issues: the Wisconsin State Motto.

'Our old motto, 'Forward!', is no longer acceptable,' shouted an enthused, heavy-set septuagenarian wearing a Manning half-jersey, yoga pants, and many yellow and green bead necklaces. 'The Packers have already gone forward! We need it changed to 'Cheeseheads Inebriamini et Amentes Procreantur.' It's classy, just like Packer fans.'

What exactly caused this ground-swell of democracy is a little unclear. Many stories circulated through the throng of people, but the consensus is it started with Packer super-fan Carl Gerbschmidt and his brother.

'I heard Carl and his brother thought up the idea while leaving the title game,' cheered a thoroughly drunk 'Sconny. 'On the way out, Carl noted that everyone there was a Packer fan, and his brother thought that would make a good slogan, so it was translated into Hebrew, and here we are!'

Facts (supported by photographic evidence) clearly show that more than half of the crowd at the title game were wearing Buffalo colors, leading to speculation that Gerbschmidt may have been hallucinating.

After an extensive search, Gerbschmidt was located near the beer-garden for comment. 'Well, see, I broke my brother's leg with a sledgehammer so we could get better seating at the game. We were both sharing his Oxycodone and drinking heavily, but it was pretty clear who the entire crowd was cheering for. Thus, the new motto: Everyone is a Packer fan! Lucky thing I can translate into Aramaic.'

Remarkably, the entire Wisconsin legislative and executive branches were also drunk as they passed the legislation.

When the phrase's true translation, 'Cheeseheads are drunken idiots,' was explained to Gerbschmidt, he didn't seem to grasp what he had advocated.

'Did you hear that?' crowed Gerbschmidt. 'The motto is actually: Cheeseheads are rockin' it! It's even better than the first version!'