Gerbschmidt Leads Charge to Oust Thul
By "Mal Tlicker"

Off-Season 2270 (Elk Mound, WI) - Just one day after Oakland's defeat of Green Bay in Sundby Cup CCCI, Packer super-fan Carl Gerbschmidt was calling for the removal of GM Mark Thul.

'Boy, this guy just can't deliver,' stated a dejected Gerbschmidt while sucking two Milwaukee's Best through a straw from his beer cap. 'But what can you expect from a Minnesota native?'

Gerbschmidt organized a Cheesehead rally at 3:30 p.m. to officially begin his campaign to oust Thul. Elk Mound, WI, a town of 872 people and home to Gerbschmidt and his annual Ice-Bowl reenactment, officially shut down for the event. Citing 'gross mismanagement of player assets, lack of hard liquor options at Lambeau, and poor personal hygiene,' the crowd chanted 'No more rule for Thul' in efforts to garner support for the movement.

It caught on quickly. By 5 p.m., Wisconsin news outlets were reporting spontaneous walkouts at every imaginable establishment throughout the state, all in support of Thul's ouster.

'Can you imagine how we've put up with Thul for so long?' shouted Gerbschmidt. 'The USAFL League Office has been ignoring all of my phone calls. How dare they? Don't they know I'm an owner? I say we fire this guy right now! We need to bring someone excellent back, like Jeff Muszynski. Make the Packers Great Again!'

GM Mark Thul was readily available for comment, although he didn't want to focus on the protests. 'I just want to congratulate Todd Ricotta and the Oakland Raiders on their fabulous season and championship. It was a tightly contested game, but the better team won.'

When pressed for a statement on the protests, Thul would only say, 'I love this team...meaning the group of players and coaches. I will be looking into possible options for the betterment of my career and my player's careers, as I always do. We'll just have to wait and see what arises.'