BREAKING NEWS: City of Cincinnati refuses Bengals new stadium demand

Organization is now mentioning looking into
By "Porsche Lynn Commode"

Off-Season 2271 (Cincinnati) - The City of Cincinnati gave a final thumbs down vote today to the Cincinnati Bengals quest for a new stadium.

'Apparently we will now need to look into other options,' Bengals Director of Football Operations 'Trader' Lee Remley said in a statement. 'It is a sad state of affairs that the City cannot see the damage a crumbling facility is doing to our business model.'

Cincinnati mayor Kwai Chang Chung issued a statement in response.

'We are not going to have our taxpayers pay for stadiums when the current facility will do. Threatening to move when you don't get your way is no way to negotiate.'

Remley was just as terse in his response.

'If the mayor would negotiate rather than outright refuse to do so for the last decade, that would be a great beginning,' he said. 'To this point, the City has not shown neither a willingness or desire to do so.'

Bengals fans are understandably upset. They have been picketing both the city offices and the team headquarters to save their team.

'I feel their pain,' Remley commented. 'Deep down, I am a football fan too, just like they are.'

More on this story as it develops.

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