McCarthey inks 12M contract
By "Allen Wilson VI"

Pre-Season 2272 (Orchard Park, NY) - The Buffalo Bills announced they have signed DL Derek McCarthey to an FP5 contract paying him 12M for the rest of his career.

'No, I'm not concerned about that' said GM Mark Ricotta when asked if McCarthey's less than stellar Acceleration made them think twice about this contract. 'I had lots of money burning a hole in my pocket, so I said 'what the hell'.'

McCarthey wasn't able to make it to the press conference in time to comment...