Brown Bears Bad Breakup

Panthers release perennial MVP candidate
By "Alliteration Alita"

Off-Season 2283 (Charlotte) - The Carolina Panthers, in a somber press conference, announced that they have released Jay Brown, the league's leading passer last season and a perennial MVP candidate.

'We didn't draft Scott Dorn in the first round to sit him,' Panthers GM 'Trader' Lee Remley said in his statement. 'The USAFL is a tough business. We tried to find a trade partner but incredibly the league had no interest in the league's leading passer last season.'

The Panthers chose to keep younger backup Marcus Smith around as insurance rather than the indignity of making Brown a backup in case things do not work out with their first round pick. But Dorn looks to have all the goods one needs for success, especially with veteran skill players and offensive linemen around him.

Meanwhile, Panthers fans were hanging their GM in effigy. An organization called 'Don't flush Brown down' were protesting in front of the league headquarters this morning in protest of Brown being cut.

Brown hopes to catch on with another team.

'Despite what my former boss said, I bet there are a lot of teams that can use me,' Brown told social media site Brainload. 'They just probably thought they could get me cheap.'

Back