Glover Inks $96 Million Lifetime Deal

Birds Defensive Captain Signs Franchise Contract
By "Chet Happily"

Pre-Season 2293 (Philadelphia, PA) - After several months of heated negotiations including a draft night discussion with the Baltimore Ravens regarding his future, the Philadelphia Eagles have signed fifth year defensive tackle , Keith Glover, to a Franchise Player contact.

Glover was the 11th player taken in the 2288 USAFL College Draft and the fifth defensive lineman taken overall.

'We have been nothing short of thrilled with Glover's attitude and output as an Eagle, 'said longtime Birds' general manager, Andrew Lewis. 'We wanted Keith and his family to know that we wanted him and his family to know how much we consider him to be a part of our Eagles' family. And with a possible ninety-six million dollar outlay on our part, he should know how much we want him to stay here in Philadelphia.'

'When we drafted Arthur (DL standout from Clemson) the other night,' said an excited Glover upon greeting the press earlier today, 'I was concerned that the team might be considering moving me and going in another direction. But immediately after that pick, Lewis called me to inform me that the team was involved in a highly secretive negotiation with the Baltimore Ravens that ultimately saw Arthur moving on and the team getting four picks in return.'

Once the Eagles confirmed the Ravens' trade the pathway was cleared for Glover to get a long overdue contract extension.

'My little baby's gonna get a new pair of shoes tonight,' laughed Glover when asked how he felt about his windfall.