Pre-draft party had harmful effects to league's movers and shakers
By "Ryan Seacrest XVI"

Off-Season 2299 (New York) - An unexpected outbreak of Rigellian Flu among the owners of the USAFL will cause the 2300 USAFL draft to be slightly different due to the need for social distancing. (Some of these guys have been practicing social distancing for years!)

The outbreak seems to be related to a pre-draft party held by the newest member of the league, Mike McNally, on Wrigley's Pleasure Planet where it seemed that things were not at all exactly sanitary in retrospect.

'Never go drinking with Klingons,' Giants GM Addam Brown said. 'They are worse than the Japanese.'

This raised cries of racism from both Asian and Klingon groups, the latter who claimed that Addam drinks too slowly anyway.

'I thought Romulan Ale was bad!' Philadelphia GM Andrew Lewis added, causing the Romulans to issue a terse statement on the greatness of their prized liquor.

The USAFL issued a moratorium on statements about the outbreak after that as they did not want league officials alienating anyone else.

As a result of the outbreak, USAFL owners will be gathered in the draft room existing as holographic representations being generated from their various offices where they are sequestered.

During the system test, Baltimore GM Mark Thul made the obligatory 'Help me, Obi Wan, you're my only hope' joke while wearing ear muffs, much to the chagrin of commissioner Lou Lombardo.

Lombardo made the following statement: 'We are undertaking this measure to protect both the GMs and their various staffs during this outbreak of this dreaded virus.'

Carolina GM Lee Remley made this astute observation: 'At least you don't have to worry this time about anyone drinking and flying!'

Be safe and healthy, everyone!