Bursting the Bubble

Is it True?
By "Trip Allen"

Regular Season 2306 (Kentucky) - Breaking News!!!!

Oakland DE Bill Usher, who is currently on pace to set the league record for sacks in a season, was abruptly suspended by the league for violating Covid-19 safety protocols. League officials who did not wish to be identified, confirmed that Bill Usher left the USAFL “bubble” without permission and now has to quarantine for the remainder of the season. Unnamed sources spotted Bill Usher in Kentucky at the International Ventriloquist Convention, with a creepy looking ventriloquist doll that looked oddly like Bills GM Mark Ricotta. Baltimore GM Mark Thul was caught by surprise by the incident “I could understand if he was going to a Furry Convention, that would have been normal, but a Ventriloquist Convention is just plain creepy. And why would he have a Ricotta doll? I would make a much better looking ventriloquist doll then he would.” Maybe we won’t get a sack record broken this year because of this incident, but Detroit’s Scott Wright is leading the league with a 47.2 yards per punt average, so that’s something to keep an eye on!!!