Whatta Beyond Burger!

We Found the Beef!
By "Strahan Simms"

Off-Season 2310 (New York, NY) - The New York City Giants made waves this off-season by signing the preeminent defensive lineman in the USAFL, Bert Burger. Not stopping there they also traded for one of the best on the other side of the coin, offensive lineman Trent Conover. Even though the NYG Head Office is happy about the moves the fans are split. 'This sucks! Their old...REALLY OLD! Have you seen how old they are? Just...man!' said fan Lou Remley who had a Vikings hoodie on at the time. On the other side, 'Whoooo! These studs are gonna dominate! We're #1! We're #1!' said Lee Lombardo...an obvious NYG homer. But what was really going through the head of GM Addam Brown?

'Well, to be honest, we were almost going to start rebuilding ourselves just like Green Bay. Looking at the free-agent market we wanted a couple key players and we weren't sure how competitive we'd be if we didn't get them. Luckily we kept communications open with Green Bay throughout that process. I think when we decided to commit 100% and included promising youngster Mark Davis it started the dominoes falling. It just made sense to go after Conover as well.' said GM Brown. 'If you ask me the real ace out of the deal was Alex Abrams. Burger and Conover will help us control the lines respectively but Abrams is the best kicker in the game and a leg like that will make sure we don't lose close games like we did last year.'

When asked about giving away all those draft picks GM Brown just said this, 'Look! A dominant player can carry a team and literally change the flow of a game. Burger has proven he can still dominate and he IS one of those players. We've NEVER had that level of talent on the defensive side of the ball...and we've had plenty of talent over the years. When you have an opportunity to bring in a juggernaut and win then you take it.'

Only time will tell if the dominance of Bert Burger will translate to NY and impact this city like he did in Green Bay. But it certainly looks like the excitement is LIVE in New York and Giants fan will enjoy continued dominance in their division. They've held to top spot since 2297 and this city may not know what to do with themselves if this wave ever ends. In this reporter's eyes, the addition of Burger helps this wave keep rolling, and the NYG fans will enjoy the feast they get week in and week out.