Chinese Food business expected to explode during drafts
By "Wang Chung"

Off-Season 2326 (New York) - The USAFL announced that the next few drafts will be held in New York's exclusive Chinatown district.

Most Chinese could care less about American football, but they know a great business model when they see it.

USAFL High Commissioner Lou Lombardo explained the move.

'With the New York Giants having so many picks the next few seasons, we are expecting our GMs to purchase a lot of Chinese takeout,' Lombardo explained with a straight face. 'So the location was logical as we want to have the best Chinese food possible.'

The propietress of Mama Wong's, now a chain of restaurants in the Northeast, Midwest, and the South, says her people are ready for the massive orders from the draft rooms.

'We got lotsa flied lice,' Mama Wong commented. 'We can have order ready in 15 minute.'

Giants GM Addam Brown took it all in stride.

'I like fried rice,' Brown said. 'Just make mine spicy!'

Rumors that the Commissioner has a deal with Japanese interests to supply sake, Suntory scotch, and plum wine to the draft room have not been confirmed.