Baltimore in Shock Over Firesale
By "Kip Armstrong"

Off-Season 2094 (Baltimore) - It was a massacre for Baltimore Ravens fans, and everyone was put to the axe.

Just hours before the the draft, General Manager Ryan Howard and Head Coach Jeff Jobes dropped the mother of all bombs on Baltimore Ravens fans when they shipped off nearly all of the teams top talent for a large collection of draft picks. The final tally?

Back-up quarterback Bobby Alexander, a former first round draft pick was sent packing. The other skills positions also took hits, as the highly touted Marcus Oliver and Steve Gannon also were told to pack their bags. The veteran anchors of perhaps the top offensive line in football, guard Issac Williams and left tackle Mike Gammon left with young buck Kenn Kowalkowski in tow. Jerry Gunn, Richard Rein and Marcus Fear will be missing from the defense next year. The team also traded away their 2095 1st round draft pick.

What did they receive? Basically, all of the Chicago Bears' draft picks over the next four years -- inclding a pair from Buffalo.

And what, exactly, do Howard and Jobes have to say for themselves?

'Things just weren't clicking, and looking at this from a purely financial standpoint -- you need to recognize your sunk costs,' said Howard at the accouncement of the monumental deal. 'This team had a hell of a lot of talent on it when I inherited it, but it needed to be developed. The problem was, though, that although the talent developed properly, the vision of the team was never realized. So, we're doing what we had thought about doing from the start -- namely, building from the ground up.'

Which, of course, began this past Sunday at the 2094 Entry Draft.

'We got a guy we really think we can build around the way Minnesota has with (Rosenback),' says Jobes of the team's selection of former Michigan quarterback Morgan Sims with the seventh overall selection. 'A lot of people talked Morgan down saying he was 'too small for the pros' or 'didn't have a strong enough arm.' (Offensive Coordinator) Donny Crock is licking his chops at the opportunity to build an offense around this incredibly talented young man.'

Sims, who led the fourth ranked Wolverines to a 34-31 come-from-behind victory against the sixth ranked Oklahoma Sooners in the Rose Bowl, is rumored to start ahead of longtime Ravens quarterback Courtney Jones.

The remainder of the team's picks were used to fill the holes in the bullet ridden body of the Ravens, but Howard is optimistic of the team's future.

'We have a great deal of leverage in future drafts, and we've wiped our financial table clean. I got bit by the cap bug -- I'll admit it,' says Howard. 'I swatted the hell out of that little bastard though. He isn't coming back.'