D-III Heartland Collegiate Athletic Conference Stand-out Lives Dream
By "Crenshaw Withycombe"

Pre-Season 2106 (Chicago, IL.) - Drafted in the 23rd round of the 2099 USAFL Waiver Draft by the Chicago Bears, James Schad was thought to be a long shot to stick around the league. After all, no one had even heard of the Division III 'Heartland Collegiate Athletic Conference', and certainly people thought it was a joke when they heard he went to Defiance College. It definitely seemed like an elaborate rouse when he informed Chicago media he was the sports editor for the Defiance College newspaper, The Defender, and that he covered his own football games.

Then, somewhat unexpectedly, Chicago fans learned James Schad was a real person when the coaching staff named James Schad LB1 to start the season. However, in his rookie year, he posted only 19 tackles and was a non-factor in Chicago's only victory of the season, a 36-31 defeat of the Washington Redskins. In that game, James Schad's statline was a starting linebackers nightmare: no tackles, no assists, no sacks, no forced fumbles, no fumble recoveries, no interceptions. Chicago's only victory of the season, and the most important player in the 4-6 defense had a blank line.

Chicago Bears fans were enraged and began jeering him on Internet message boards. Schad was certainly going to be released after the season, but not before being humiliated by fans and run out of town. 'Someone put an egg in my Kia's tailpipe, and salami on the hood of my car,' said Schad, recalling a day he was late to practice the week of the Redskins game, ultimately resulting in him being benched and fined. In 2100, the Bears drafted linebackers Shawn Williams (R2, 20 OV), Deion Hall (R2, 33 OV), Kirk Giles (R3, 36 OV), Antonio Bankston (R3, 45 OV), and Rod Root (R3, 47 OV). Fans were elated, as the moves would surely signal the end of James Schad's career as a Bear.

However, somewhat suprisingly, the Bears kept Schad. Not only that, but Schad outperformed every other linebacker in camp to earn the LB1 spot again. In 2100, Schad had 27 tackles and three sacks. He was beginning to emerge as a leader of a young Bears squad desperate for a captain. The following year, in 2101, he recorded 54 tackles and 7 sacks. The year after that, he broke-through in extraordinary fashion, recording 5 fumble recoveries, 55 tackles and 14 sacks. Suddenly, he was a fan favorite with a penchant for making huge plays.

In 2103, Schad recorded 2 more fumble recoveries, 54 tackles and 8 sacks.

In 2104, Schad recorded 3 more fumble recoveries, 46 tackles and 16 sacks.

In 2105, Schad recorded his best season yet -- 2 more fumble recoveries, 62 tackles and 17 sacks.

This year, the 5'10' linebacker, the player everybody thought had no chance, is looking to become the MVP of the league and guide the Bears to a Super Bowl. 'I've already accomplished my dream, now it is time to make the dreams of every fan in the city of Chicago come true.'