AGM Brown Learning the Ropes
By "Peter Gammons VII"

Off-Season 2116 (Baltimore, MD) - Today, Baltimore officially announced a not-so-well-kept secret, the hiring of Addam Brown as Assistant General Manager.

'I've known Addam a long time,' said Baltimore owner/GM Mark Thul. 'We went to high school and college together, been competing together and against each other most of our lives. Heck, I even poured water over his head at my wedding...He had it coming. That being said, he will be a tremendous addition to our organization.'

Brown brings an extensive background in sports management, primarily in baseball, and excelled everywhere he went. His stints as GM of the Sacramento Grizzlies and the Boston Maulers resulted in consistently competitive, if not championship, teams.

'The baseball gig was getting a little old,' shrugged the dapper Brown, dressed in his best pair of Zubaz. 'Thul and Musky (MN AGM Jeff Muszynski) have been touting how competitive this league is, so I felt the time was ripe to take on a new challenge.'

Brown reportedly has very little football experience, so there will be a steep learning curve. Asked if that was a major concern, Brown replied, 'Well, I played second-string tight end in junior high and have played fantasy football for years, so I should be fine.'

Thul indicated that he'd bring Brown along at whatever pace he could handle. 'Yesterday, I showed him where the toilet wand is kept. Next week, we might tie him to the blocking sled for extra resistence for our offensive line.'

'From what I've seen already,' shared franchise quarterback Donnell Belfatto, 'Addam is going to be a significant asset to this team. Apparently he's often full of crap, but his ability to look at situations in different lights is definately something this organization needs.'

Addam, Welcome to Baltimore and the USAFL!