Redskins Party Busted

Underage Drinking Rampant at Washington Training Camp
By "Gary Gray"

Off-Season 2122 (Washington DC) - Pending internal investigation, initial reports coming out of DC are not music to the owners' ears. Local authorities were called to an apartment complex nearby GW University around 2:00 AM on August 10th, 2122. At the scene, a party was raided, and several of the Washington Redskins players were held overnight in the city jail. Nearly twenty of the team members were cited for Underage Drinking - an uncommon infraction for today's players. Apparently, the party was held for OL Grant Elliot's twenty first birthday. Elliot was among the few rookies who did not receive a citation.

After the 2122 offseason, twenty three former Redskins were scouring the help wanted ads. Among the players released was thirty eight year old starting quarterback Derrick Harmon who did not sign with a team off waivers. Harmon is now employed by FedEx and is working on a commercial spot for Rogain. The veterans were replaced by rookies as young as 19 years old. Asked about his expectations for the upcoming season, new AGM Ben Breeden responded, 'I'm not watching the games to see which team wins. I'm watching the games to see who will make the roster three seasons from now.'

Neither the GM nor the AGM could be reached for comment about the spoiled party. Speaking on the condition of anonymity, a team official said, 'We'll suspend the cited players without a moment's hesitation. We don't expect to win anyway.'

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