Buffalo Inks Another FP
By "Jim Kelly IV"

Regular Season 2134 (Orchard Park, NY) - The Buffalo Bills announced for the 2nd time in as many days the signing of another Franchise Player. Middle LB Orlando Dykes has been designated FP3 which will pay him 8 mil annually for the rest of his career. Pretty cheap when you consider the contract that was signed yesterday.

'I can't complain too much' said a joyous Dykes. 'Besides, Staff has dinner covered for the whole team the entire season with that contract he signed. I'm definitely taking advantage of that.'

Dykes hopes to shore up the middle of a defense that still hasn't found a strong identity. 'Yeah, yeah. I've heard it my whole life. Dykes is gonna plug up the middle. Nobody gets by Dykes. Dykes will turn the tide. Dykes will dam up the D. Put your finger in Dykes. Yeah, I never really liked that last one.'

At least the Bills can laugh in the locker room if they can't have a successful season.