Giants lineman Clint Jones expects to be highest paid player by far in league history
By "Adam Adams"

Regular Season 2138 (Malibu, California) - New York Giants offensive lineman Clint Jones has coined a nickname for himself this season.

'Billion Dollar Baby, baby. That's what I am.'

A former #1 overall pick, Clint Jones will be entering free agency this offseason, and he's expecting to be the highest paid player in league history.

'I got 17 other teams that will be beating down my door, they'll all give me huge offers. I definitely expect to be the league's first billionaire. I'm the greatest offensive lineman who ever lived. I can hold off a defensive line with Bing Bennett, Mark Smith, Coleman Sites, and Courtney Odomes all by myself with just with my left pinky. Heck, tie my right arm and both my legs behind my back just to give them more of a chance. I'm a hall of famer right now. They should give me my own wing.'

Jones likes to talk big, and in anticipation of a huge payday, he likes to spend big. Despite it being impossible to be a billionaire, with the way the salary cap is in the USAFL, Jones thinks he will be one anyway, with endorsement deals.

'I'm gonna be on billboards all over the place whereever I end up. I'm going to have sponsorship from Nike, Reebok, all those shoe companies. Gonna have my own line of clothing, and gonna be on the cover of football video games for years.'

'I just bought a $95 million dollar mansion, called Jones' World. It has an 18 hole golf course, but I've never played. It has a bowling alley, a movie theater, and one of the biggest pools I've ever seen, acres and acres of trees. I have chefs at my beck and call whenever I want food. It has a huge garage where I can store the cars I just bought. I just got myself seven cars, all gold plated, one for each day of the week. Gold hummer, Porsche, Jaguar, Rolls Royce, you name it, it's mine. All mine. Next I'm gonna buy me my own private jet that doubles as a shopping mall. My life is good, and it will be even better when some team pays me what I deserve. I will win Sundby Cups for years all by myself for whoever signs me.'

The New York Giants are 4-6, and the offensive line's given up 54 sacks on the season. Jones has been responsible for 30 of them.