Have a take?
By "Jim Rome"

Off-Season 2152 (Charlotte) - Today's Jim Rome show downloaded directly to your brain...(you should really have had your brain spam filters on)

Cue jungle music. Cyborg appears in a chair opposite a couch on a holographic set.

'Welcome to the Jungle. I'm your host, Jim Rome. Or rather, I am Jim Rome's brain put into a cyborg body. How whack is that? They put my brain in a metal container to keep this show going the last 200 years. Just phenomenal.'

'Our guest today is Carolina Panthers GM 'Trader' Lee Remley. Welcome.'

Remley walks onto the holographic set, sits down on the couch.

'Glad to be here.'

'You look good for a guy running the franchise for 70 years.'

'Well, keeping in shape, eating right, cellular regeneration, and 20 year old blondes working around the office does wonders.'

'Did you just drop a 20 year old blonde reference on us? That was epic.'

'Glad you liked it. You remember 20 year old blondes after all that time in a metal box, Jim?'

Canned laughter. Cyborg looks disgusted.

'So what's happened to you guys?'

'We've had some lean years recently, to be sure, but we have a tough division. We've been making moves and we're bouncing back.'

'Well, you've made no trades this year so maybe I should call you Pat for stand pat, Pat.'

'Pat runs Houston, Jim.'

'Can't call you Trader, Pat.'

'You know, Pat would actually enjoy this kind of comedy.'

'Pat.'

On screen over the holographic set, a questionaaire pops up.

'What should our guest do?
a) crack another joke
b) beat Rome senseless'

Answer a tops out at 0.9% over the next 60 seconds, answer b goes to 99.1%.

Remley nods, pulls a baseball bat out from under the seat of the couch and beats the cyborg into a vaguely rectangular shape, then bows and walks off the set.

'How whack was that? I haven't had this much fun since Chris Everett's brain paid me a visit. Brain mail from Eddie on LA Island: 'Jim, it was great to see you get beaten into the shape of a sardine can. Just phenomenal. War humanity. Out.' Have a take, do not suck, Eddie. That take sucked. Is Skynet done yet?'

Sound of crickets chirping is heard.

'We'll be back after another half hour of downloaded sponsor messages. Maybe they can get me outta this smashed up tin can by then. Out.'