Bengals defense needs to step up for team to improve
By "Whio Dey"

Off-Season 2183 (Cincinnati) - The Cincinnati Bengals head into the 2183 season with guarded optimism after hopefully hitting bottom last season at 4-10. Their rebuilding effort continues, but the thought that last year would be an improvement on the previous season fell quite a bit short.

The offense under mastermind head coach and offensive coordinator Jerry 'Nutty Professor' Lewis, named as such for his sometimes unconventional approach to offense, has been getting better, but the defense has been a different matter entirely.

The defense gave up 348 points, the most in the league. They were last in passing defense. They gave up the most first downs in the league. They were the most penalized.

Not exactly the recipe for success.

'We stunk,' Bengals GM 'Trader' Lee Remley commented while discussing the performance of the defense last season. 'We couldn't stop a dog even if we showed him a Honeybaked ham.'

Remley said with many draft picks coming up in the 2184 and 2185 seasons, this season was the time for many to put up or find a new line of work.

'This is the time for many of these guys,' Remley said. 'A lot of them quite frankly haven't played up to their draft position. With a lot more rookies coming in the next couple of seasons, they need to show us something this season, actually this training camp, or they are out the door.'

For a GM known for his patience in developing players, is this a change in philosophy?

'We only have 53 spots on the roster,' Remley pointed out. 'If you want one of those spots, you have to produce. Enough said.'

Bengals fans, who are not used to sub .500 seasons under this management team, most likely would agree.