Panthers now have their own Fab Four on offensive line
By "Jordan Rulz"

Off-Season 2301 (Charlotte) - These guys aren't John, Paul, George, and Ringo, but Carolina now has their own version of a 'Fab Four.'

The biggest complaint from the Panthers QB and RBs last season was the offensive line was, well...offensive. They had more holes than a swiss cheese factory in Wisconsin. Their head coach set a record for cursing frequently in different languages.

The three offensive linemen Carolina just acquired from the Vikings are to fans the best import from Minnesota since Prince began his Purple Reign. Andre White, Adam Ross, and Tom Gibson will join holdover Brian Hughes to create a real solid wall around their quarterback and a pancake crew for their backs to run behind.

The Panthers will spend training camp trying to find Pete Best to play center, but we know who Colonel Parker is, it's the same guy.

'It was a deal we couldn't pass up,' GM Lee Remley said, trying to regain his 'Trader' nickname this offseason. 'We tried to build through the draft, but our fans are getting impatient after back to back 7-7 years. They are used to winning so we are giving it a shot. We have a good young team but we have some needs here and there we are trying to patch for the upcoming season.'

This is Andre White's second tour with the Panthers, who originally drafted him before being dealt when the rebuild began.

'I'm glad to be back,' White told the media. 'A lot of new people, and the guy I used to block for is now my coach. But our goal hasn't changed, which is the most important thing.'

Carolina still has seven picks in the upcoming draft, which is the final large draft class for the organization.

'So we better get this one right,' Remley says, frustrated with the success rate at times with draft picks during the rebuild.

Panthers fans are looking forward to seeing the results of the team's redesign. They might have to watch the game holographically due to the Rigellian Flu outbreak, but at least the season will go on as scheduled.