U.S. Space Force vs USAFL
Space Force investigates "Albright FlimFlam"
By "Trip Allen"
(Chicago) - President Trump today announced that the US Space Force will be investigating the Free Agency pickup by Minnesota of Chicago DT Wesley Albright. When asked about this new development, President Trump had this to say “I have instructed the Space Force to investigate what has been dubbed the “Albright FlimFlam” free agency pickup. This travesty needs to be investigated in order to get to the bottom of how this occurred and who was involved. I have chosen the Space Force to do this investigation mostly because I bought them new uniforms and they really have nothing else to do. Also, Minnesota GM Lou Lombardo has been on a list of possible aliens living in the United States, and who better to find out the truth then the Space Force. Justice must be done!!”. Analysts at the SETI institute confirm that Lou Lombardo is either a Pod Person or has been probed so many times that there isn’t much of a difference any longer.
What is at the bottom of the “Albright FlimFlam”? GM Lou Lombardo placed a low bid on the future Hall of Famer Wesley Albright. Rookie Chicago GM Mike McNally was not able to match the low-ball offer because he had already used up his offer sheets. When asked why he had used up his offer sheets, Mike McNally responded: “Once again, poor mentoring is to blame. Either my mentor Michael Morton was incompetent and botched my training by failing to mention that I needed to keep offer sheets to resign my players or there was some kind of collusion going on between him and the alleged alien Mork Lombardo.” Mike Morton had this to say about the allegations: “I have had it with this guy!!!! It’s not my fault he can’t read the FAQ section. Maybe we should make reading comprehension a requirement for entry into the League.” When reached for a comment, Minnesota GM Lou Lombardo only responded with “Na-Nu Na-Nu”. Regardless of the outcome of the investigation, the “Albright FlimFlam” will go down as a black day for the USAFL.